Oh my god, I'm a fraud
Ok so I have to fess up. Last night for dinner I ate 7 Lindt balls.
Yep, the health and nutrition coach ate 7 Lindt balls for dinner. And OMG they were amazing!
Did you know that sugar works on the same pleasure centres of the brain that cocaine and heroin do? The difference is it’s legal and accessible and turbo charged over Christmas.
Did I eat them to nourish my body? Goodness no. I was tired, I had been Christmas shopping so was kinda on edge and I had a significant late lunch so decided I wasn’t hungry for dinner. Kate, note to self, don’t skip meals.
So am I wallowing in a pit of despair about the fact that my dinner consisted of 7 Lindt balls?
Most definitely not.
A couple of years ago I would have but not anymore! Previously I would have dropped the ball, pun intended, and gone on a Lindt ball fuelled self-sabotage to prove to myself that I failed my diet, AGAIN. I certainly wouldn’t have stopped at 7 Lindt balls.
What’s different now? I get that the 7 Lindt balls are just that, 7 Lindt balls. The’re not evil or bad or a sign of weakness. They are Lindt balls.
So what did I do when I woke up this morning? I drank my water, strapped my Fluro Asics on my feet, drank some coffee and went and worked up a serious sweat. Just like I do most other days.
Bad cop started sprouting some guilt in my ear that I am such a fraud and who am I to teach people how or what or when to eat. And then I remember just where I am.
The fact that I am here typing this right now wanting to share my message that you can eat chocolate and still love your body. It’s not the occasional Lindt ball dinner that will ruin all your hard work.
I went bikini shopping with my mum last week. I purposely don’t take my hubby kini shopping because his taste is shall we say, x rated but my mum is one of my biggest cheerleaders and I know she will give me the honest run down.
So I am trying on these bikinis and knowing instantly the ones I love and the ones I will be leaving for another Wonder Woman. Still love my mum to eyeball them though, and put in her 99 cents worth in.
As I type this now, I’m getting butterflies thinking about how much I have changed from just a couple of years ago. So I'm trying them on and in the middle of the store, I pull open the curtain and bare myself for everyone to see. Well really just for mum, but you know, there's a que for the change rooms by this stage.
This is not the beach where everyone is dressed in their cossies and hats. This is middle of suburbia, on a rainy Thursday.
It still blows my mind to know that only a few years ago, I wouldn’t have dreamt of stepping out of the change room in a pair of jeans let alone a bikini.
Is my body perfect, well you know what, yes it is.
Whatever perfect is I will take it and own it and not be a slave to self loathing anymore. I refuse to spend the rest of my life wanting and wishing to look like someone else. There’s a big difference between admiration and aspiration.
So really there is nothing fraudulent about it. This is real life.
I am a very (spectacularly amazing) normal woman. I have young children, a ‘real’ job, am slowly but surely building a business that I am passionate about. I am happy but tired a lot of the time. I need to have more 8+ hr sleeps and less 6 hr sleeps. I want to read more books and yell less at my babes. I don’t eat Lindt balls for dinner every night. And I know now that one night of Lindt ball dinner or a kind off month during the silly season is not going to make or break my health or my weight.
Just like I have done consistently and will keep doing consistently, I remained on the wagon today, indulged in my veggies, busted a move and now I’m laughing.
When we look after ourselves consistently, those Lindt balls aren’t going to hurt. Diets are shit, deprivation is shit and really life is too short to be shit.
So cheers to all the Lindt balls, cheers to the cheese & cheers to the extra glass (es) of wine to get you through the silly season. We shouldn’t get so caught up on hating on ourselves, it’s just not worth it.
Wishing you and your loves a safe and happy Christmas and a healthy and spectacular 2017.
If you feel the guilt creeping in with all the festive treats this silly season you should check out my Survival Guide for Christmas.
This is not a diet recipes, avoid all the fun kinda guide. Christmas Without Regrets is a kick ass guide to getting through this indulgent time without feeling awful about yourself.