From a size 10 to size 14 in a matter of hours
I need a size what now!?!?!
I ordered a new pair of work pants last week. No big deal right.
After all I have been in a size 10 pants for some time now and I have noticed that since I have been building my glutes (intentionally, cause I like big buts I cannot lie!) my pants have been getting a little too snug. So I decided to order the size 12.
I opened up the packet and decided well I really should try them on before I wash them and to my horror….
They didn’t fit. Not just snug but actually would not do up.
I couldn’t do the button up no matter how much I sucked in my tummy, did the hop and pull or any of the other manoeuvres I knew from my past to get pants on that just don’t fit.
I was mortified.
Instantly the negative self talk started.
Kate looks like you have let yourself go again.
You are going to have to order the size 14 now, maybe even the 16, you were wearing size 16 when you were 100 kg.
Maybe you shouldn’t have that that treat meal after all.
Maybe you are a fraud, teaching people how to lose weight and live their healthiest life when you have gone from a size 10 to 14 in an instant.
And then luckily self love soldier Kate piped up from the trenches....
How ridiculous, clearly it is a new manufacturer and the sizing is completely different.
You can’t go from a size 10 to a 14 overnight no matter how many treats you have.
Who the F&$K cares what size the label on your pants says anyway.
You are not a size, your beauty and kindness and intelligence and humour are not determined by that tiny little label.
Now I think about it, all those feelings about my self loathing as a teenager came back to rear their ugly head. I spent so long wishing, hoping desperately that I could find clothes to fit me in a normal clothes shop.
Every time I was reminded that a 18 was getting snug or I went up a size my self loathing muscle was strengthened a little bit more.
That all came flooding back to me last week with the size 12 pants that didn’t fit.
I am so proud of myself for pulling me up on it. I never would have done that, even 2 years ago. I would have believed all those awful things I said to myself, allow them to be my truth and punish myself accordingly.
I am amazing! I love my big butt! My hubby loves my butt and no one else matters.
It feels so good to love the skin your in and I’ll be freaken dammed if I let the size of my pants determine how I good I feel.
F-you clothing manufacturers and mainstream media for your role in shaping our views on what our body should be. But consider me the one that got away! Self love soldier Kate is working her way up the ranks.
My body is perfectly imperfect, just the way it is meant to be
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