Held Hostage in my own body
It’s really interesting for me to think about how not that long ago how my self loathing held me captive.
What you believe to be true of yourself, consciously and subconsciously shape all the decisions we make for ourselves.
All of them, even if your not consciously sitting there, stewing on your thighs or muffin top, don’t think for a second that those thoughts aren’t extremely powerful.
That shadow thoughts reel of
I’m unappealing to the opposite sex.
I’m not smart enough
I can’t get anything right
Will cause you to act out and make decisions based out of that belief system rather than who you actually are. Like actually who you are in your spirit, in your core. For many of us that has become so clouded we may not even know.
When I was still there, putting all my energy into what I hated about me and my body, I inevitably found and focused on all the reasons I couldn’t do something.
Why I couldn’t go skydiving because I would have to step on the scales in front of a stranger.
Why I wasn’t going to get into the Ambulance Service at over 110kg.
Why my now husband kept knocking me back over, and over, and over again.
Where you are now, be it with your body, your weight, your health, your relationships, your career or whatever else you are struggling with is because of the choices you have made depending on what you believe to be true for yourself.
When you believe that you are destined to diet forever and your body is fat and frumpy and flawed. It becomes your truth. When you are tied to a job that you despise, you most likely don’t believe that you are worthy of more. The decisions you make are based consciously and subconsciously on that “truth” of you.
Now if we blow out the cobwebs we might remember Newtons' Third law of Motion....
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Everything you are putting out into the world, all that energy all those thoughts, be it positive or negative, is getting out there, into your home, into your relationships, into your health and that energy is always coming back to you.
If you spend your energy despising how you look and who you are, and what you did back n high school, that is what is coming back to you. I did that for a long time, like a loooong time, because I didn’t know I didn’t have to do that.
I didn’t know that that because it felt so real, didn’t actually mean that it had to be my truth anymore. No one had told me it could be different.
Well….consider this the memo.
You don’t have to be hostage to the things you don’t like anymore. You don’t have to be a prisoner of your story. Of who you used to be or anything you have ever done. For me, my weight and body image held me back from where I felt peaceful and happy and satisfied. It took me away from enjoying the moment because of that negative self talk which was on continued replay inside my head.
My relationship with food initially became unhealthy when I was trying to feed the loneliness I felt as a 10 year old girl. I felt lonely because I was bullied about my weight and then would come home on my own and had no way to process that.
I was embarrassed to talk about, hell I was embarrassed to even think about it, so I ate. Food numbed my feelings, it never judged me and it made me feel better, albeit only for a moment.
My relationship with food continued to spiral as I went to high school and Uni, and I realise now, that was because I was always trying to feed something that could never be nourished with food. Loneliness, anxiety, uncertainty, excitement, self loathing. It didn’t matter what it was, I was trying to feed my feelings and strangely enough, the food never made me satisfied.
I let go of being a hostage to diets and self loathing a few years ago. I decided that enough was enough and I didn’t want to do it anymore. The universe put me in contact with my incredible Health Coach Anna, whom I still feel incredibly grateful for all these years later. Sure, I made the decision that enough was enough but as Newton already knew, meeting Anna was the equal and opposite reaction to my decision.
Whatever has happened in your life either happens to you, or for you. You get to choose which one. This is exciting and scary and maybe even a little bit ridiculous to think about but you get to decide.
Despising my body, kept me so far away from living my most beautiful life. It kept me away from really expressing to myself, and to the world what I have to give. Who I really am.
What I believe about myself either keeps me back or propels me forward.
Wonder Woman Method felt like what I needed to do in the world. This is my calling. To teach women, and men, but mainly women that it doesn’t have to be that way anymore. You don’t have to diet to have a body that you love and are proud of and strut around in a bikini.
The things I learnt on my own health coaching journey made me take the scary, unpredictable & costly move to do that for other people and I would do it again in a heart beat. I believe with everything in me that this is the answer to a healthy and happy life and I needed to share the incredible lessons I learnt with other women.
I know, without a single doubt in my mind that you are destined for greatness. You are so much more incredible than you recognise.
You have so much to offer this crazy, beautiful place and gorgeous one tell me.....
why waste another moment playing small.